Face it. The answer is probably no. No, your dog is not big enough to push you to the top of the Asheville, NC foodie scene.
You might be able to earn a few extra status points if your dog is an overachiever, e.g. it is wandering all over the restaurant, barking at other diner’s faces, or leaving a steamer next to the hostess stand, but size still matters.
If your dog has had even a few moments of training or social conditioning, your chances could be wrecked. You want an animal who is simultaneously curious about, terrified of, and hostile toward its surroundings. That way, maximum mid-restaurant dog drama can flourish.
Eschew friendly breeds like Labs and retrievers. Get something with the size of a pony and the temperament of a house fire.
Make sure your dog can really bark, too. Remember: your dog is your brand and you need brand recognition. Your Panic tees are only as good as line of sight. Your dog’s incessant bark can be heard for as much as a mile.